Granted, but then everyone on Earth somehow survives. Then constantly bothers you because you wished the sun dark. I wish I could go to the Chisholm Trail Gun Show instead of the dentist.

Granted but you're volunteered for the new procedure called "Bullet Dentistry". I wish I had a team of rabid crackheads to help spread terror.

Granted, but then they get addicted to heroin and leave you to spread terror on your own. I wish I had $500.

Granted, but you had to whore yourself to 90 year old men. Wish I had laser eyes.

Granted, but the lasers burn out your eyes, leaving you blind and powerless. I wish Arab would quit being a strict, stuck up bitch (on SoL).

Granted, but you then die in a terrorist attack. I wish Chompy would attack Bush at Camp David.

Granted, but then Hillary gets elected president. I wish I had super-luck.

Granted, but all of your super luck is limited to "You're very lucky, you should be dead right now" situations. I wish I was fifty feet tall, and impervious to damage.

Granted, but you're trapped alone on an island with no way off. I wish the Space Age would hurry up and start already.

First Post. Granted, but you die before it happends.

Um, what's your wish?

I wish that I don't have to make a wish.

Granted, but then you lose your job. Forever. I wish I had an enormous palace.

Granted, but everyone knows you're compensating for a small penis. I wish I knew the secrets of the Hong Kong Phooey Chop!

Granted, but then you get shot up for being so racist. I wish I had a video camera.